A Little Bit About Me
Asalaamu Alaikum
I'm Muhammad, but i go by Ludo. Mostly because its quicker to introduce myself as that then spend twenty minutes explaining why a white guy is called Muhammad.
I'll start with the bad stuff. And if it sounds like i'm trying to scare you off... well... I may be... a little. I'm not going to lie, I have issues. I honestly belive that theres somebody out there for everybody, so i'm not going to sugar coat anything. i could make myself seem a lot better then i am, but that would just get people hurt in the long run.
I've suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life and had a full on breakdown a few years ago after a long run of the world kicking me in the guts and developed full on agoraphobia. I spent the next 6 years inside, hiding from the world and slowly letting my health decrease to the point i could barely stand. I pretty much fell down a deep well and was unable to get out.
Fortuanatly I've been able to get help and my situation has been improving. I had to teach myself how to walk again which was intresting. and painful, but i've got to the point that although i am still weak, my physio have had me walking up and down the halls and stairways of my building. and doing squats. the horrible horrible squats.
I'm still having issues with the agrophobia, but i have people who are helping me try to adjust to the outside again. I've so far only managed to visit the communal guardens, but its still a big step for me and an improvement from having panic attacks in my kitchen when loud trucks go by.
As my profile name suggests, i am a massive nerd. both literally and figurativley. Most of my life and interactions are online. I'm a fan of many different sci fi and fantasy series and will happily debate people on anything from Christan Bale being the worst batman to Arnold Schwarzenegger being a surprisingly good actor.
I do not work at the moment and am signed off as disabled
Another issue that will inevitably come into focus rather rapidly is my phisical size. I am a big chap. I'm 6 feet 8 inches (203cm) tall and weigh about 40 stonnes. I've been large my whole life and to be honest, i've become an expert at ignoring people telling me to lose weight. And while i may be obese my blood sugar levels are normal, i dont have high cholesterol and my heart and lungs are both fine. Looking at me you'd probably think that i was a heart attack waiting to happen, but, nope. I'm fine (apart from a "critical shortage" of vitimin D).
The reason i bring this up is beacuse i have looked for marriage online before a couple of times and it has ended the same way each time. I meet a lady, we get on and enjoy each other's company, then she tells me to lose weight, I try, I fail, she decides not to continue anymore and i go offline and cry in the dark for six months.
My point is this, I am fat. i have always been fat and will most likely be fat for my whole life. i'm doing physio most days of the week, so i'm likely to lose a little weight, and while thats great (i'm not fat out of spite after all), i'm not the sort of person to spend hours at the gym getting into shape. I like to eat and you physicly slapping the pizza out of my hand might be one of the few ways to make me trim up. On the upside though, if we end up together you will never be cold. I am basicly a door sized hot water bottle and have been informed that i am also remarkably comfortable to sit on
When i'm not rolling dice and yelling "RRRRRAAAAGHR! DRAGON!" at Americans, I enjoy binge watching anime, reading, binge watching Netflix, cooking and binge watching whatever movie/tv show i have become fixated on at the time. i tend to get hooked on things and get really involved with them for varying periods of time. A word of advice, If you ever see me start playing a Japanese visual novel game, shut that down fast.
I really enjoy romance stories and comedies and have even been known to occasionally get a bit weepy at the sad bits... Thats a complete lie, I always get weepy at the sad bits. I dont enjoy horror movies at all and try to avoid them like the plague. Mostly though, i love to laugh. I'm very creative and will usually try to deal with most things through humour. Even the things that really shouldn't be dealt with through humour. I am especially fond of self-deprecating jokes, so you will often hear me poking fun at myself.
I asked my friends when i was writing this about any other personality quirks that i have that people should be aware of and they said that i can occasionally be "abrasively sarcastic" i was offended by this and responded with abrasive sarcasm, thus proving their point. Then i did my skeletor impression. that doesnt really factor into this but, thats what happened, so there it is.
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What I Am Looking For
I'm looking for somebody to share my life with. I've been living alone since i was eighteen, so i'm rather independent. the upside of this is that i'm fully house trained, the downside is that i'm a little set in my ways and may take time to adjust to a new way of doing things.
I'd love to have a family. I love kids and would love to have children myself though theres a chance that i could be doing irreparable damage to the gene pool if that actually happens.
Mostly though, i want somebody who i can spend time with. somebody to cuddle up to and argue about who was the best Star Trek captain and why it was Sisko. Somebody to stop me from looking at cat pictures for hours because my building doesnt allow pets. somebody who sees me for the funny, loving, caring person i am, and not... well all of the stuff you just read.
So, if you've got this far i must commend you. If you're intrested in me after all of that then you're probably as mental as i am and i would love to hear from you. If not, then i hope i made you smile and Inshallah you find somebody that makes you happy.
Love and Hugs
Ludo
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